Advice from Denver Life

What to do if marijuana is clouding your family life at home. (And other advice.)

Illustration by Ingo Fast

I am not a smoker of any kind. My husband, however, has become a fairly regular pot smoker—in the house and in front of the kids. They are only toddlers now, but I worry about the example he is setting for them. What should I do? —Jamie, Parker

Your kids will learn soon enough of the dangers of drug and alcohol abuse, and of smoking marijuana before age 25, which is when their brains will finally have finished developing. Trust us, their schools will drum that into them. But you’ve got a bigger problem, Jamie, one that’s even bigger for your toddlers, and that is secondhand smoke. Marijuana smoke, both first- and second-hand, contains many of the same carcinogens as tobacco smoke. Everyone from the Surgeon General to the American Society of Heating, Refrigerating, and Air Conditioning Engineers has warned us that there are no safe levels of second-hand smoke, and that children, especially, are at risk of lung ailments, ear infections, and severe asthma from exposure to second-hand smoke. You should not allow anyone to smoke anything inside your home. So, please, recruit your pediatrician for an intervention and have the hubby take the kids in for their next appointment. He needs to be told, with authority, to take his bad habit out of the house without exception. As for your role model worries, it probably won’t be long before the kids will be all over Dad to quit.

My wife keeps suggesting (nicely) that I clean up my act: have a pedicure, get a nicer haircut, upgrade my clothes. I want to please her but am totally clueless. Can you help? —Joe, Cherry Creek

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Joe, you came to the right place. Here at DLM, we’ve just covered that territory and more in our Men’s Issue (September: Your Fall Game Plan). So please read all about it at (Spoiler alert: What outfit looks good on every man? It’s a blue suit with a crisp white shirt.) But, have you noticed that the three examples you give—pedicure, haircut, new clothes—represent three of the favorite activities of many women? Like, maybe even your wife? The way we see it here, you have two great choices: Surprise your wife with a Saturday of couples’ pedicures, haircuts, and shopping for new outfits; or, invite her to plan the day for you both, which might be her secret dream after all. There are so many wonderful day spas, salons, and shops in the Cherry Creek neighborhood— who knows, you could both be on to a new mating ritual.

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