Advice from Denver Life

His beard was her idea, but now she has regrets. (And other advice.)

Illustration by Ingo Fast

I love the look of my husband’s facial hair. It was even my idea to grow it out. But it’s been giving me beard burn, and the dry Colorado winters make it even worse. What can we do?—Robin, Stapleton

For an authority on the topic, we caught up with bearded Jacob Rockwell. Rockwell’s story is amazing; when he was a metal fabricator working on a bar for a wedding, a splinter got into his hand and set off a flesh-eating bacteria. Emergency surgery saved his hand, but to heal his body doctors induced a coma that lasted months. The blessing, said Rockwell: He awoke with a full beard. He went on to create True Grit, a Denver company making beard care products. His advice for your husband: “Use Beard Balm. It’s a hair conditioner and it will make your beard extremely soft. Use it every morning for two weeks and you’ll notice it’s much softer. We’ve also released Beard Butter, which is really nice to use at night. And Beard Oil is to hydrate the skin underneath your beard, so that also makes your beard soft.” Rockwell said his wife is now able to snuggle him without danger.

I have Nuggets season tickets and love to take my elementary school-age son to games with me, but sometimes the fans around us behave in a manner I’d call mean, using profanity. It’s such a great place to learn that you can’t win them all, and that your team is still your team in good times and bad, and all those other schlocky sports lessons; I hate to think the Pepsi Center is R-rated for NBA games. What should I do?—Will, Littleton

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The NBA’s got you covered like Gary Harris on the opponent’s sharp shooter. Its code of conduct promises that guests can expect to enjoy a game “free from disruptive behavior, including foul or abusive language or obscene gestures.” Further, the Nuggets train Pepsi Center staff “to intervene where necessary to help ensure that the above expectations are met, and guests are encouraged to report any inappropriate behavior to the nearest usher, security guard, or guest services staff member.” So, because you’re a regular and presumably these folks around you are too, arrive early at the next game and express your concerns to the ushers in your section. Your neighbors might just need a reminder that there’s a youngster in earshot.

I got an amazing job in Denver and moved here two years ago right out of college. My mom travels a lot for work and visits me every couple months or so. I love my mom and we have a great time together, but I really would rather she didn’t come so often, or at least didn’t stay with me in my little studio apartment every time. What can I say that won’t make me sound ungrateful?—Lana, LoHi

Look on the bright side, Lana… Having a caring mom that you seem to enjoy spending time with come for a visit every couple months does take the pressure off you to spend time and money on flights home (especially since you’re new to the work world and probably without a stash of PTO.) But, when it comes to your “little studio apartment” that’s where you’re going to have to draw the line. You could find a sleepover boyfriend…move into a house with three rowdy roommates and no guest room…sell your couch and furnish your studio with uncomfortable chairs. Or, more realistically, how about this: Swallow hard, and say, “Mom, I love our visits, but as you know I don’t have much space for company. I’m wondering if you could stay in one of the great hotels in town when you visit? It would be a nice escape for us to visit outside of the craziness.” She’ll probably be a lot more comfortable at the Born, the Maven, or the Indigo, and then you’d get to hang out around Union Station with her. Win, win!